A Mother
by HowlingMad
Summary: Lester breaks the news to Trevor that his mother has recently died and Trevor contemplates what it really means to be a mother.


**A Mother**

* * *

Trevor briefly wondered, just for a second, before falling into a heap on the floor, what a mother was.

He'd never known what exactly a mother was meant to be, he just knew what his mother was. He never compared her, because he figured that was somehow unfair. He never judged her because he wasn't her. He never thought anything negative towards her because...

...he'd been told not to.

What was a mother?

He knew in all rational thought, it was the woman who'd received his father's sperm and popped him out. That was all a mother was. That was all a mother had to be, there wasn't a rigorous rubric they had to honor.

Anything more was extra effort, wasn't it?

He'd never judged her, but he wondered about those days at school when kids fell down on the sidewalk walking home and they fell. Their mother had been waiting for them outside the house, ran to them and kissed them on the forehead. They'd scoop their child up like a baby, hold onto them tight and bring them into the house gently.

Trevor enjoyed to believe at that age, that their mother's would beat them without mercy when they got in the house.

He didn't have a vendetta against those kids, he just hated to see their mothers care so much. It gave him a deep sense of disgust he couldn't explain.

He'd come home to a brother trying to run away again, a crying mother and a father working late hours again.

His mother would come into his bedroom a few minutes after he passed the usual scenery of his home's backdrop, and she'd sit on the edge of his bed and tell him how sweet of a boy he was as long as he stayed with Mommy. That was only when she needed him though. As soon as she had a dick to mount, she was telling him to be a good boy and fuck off.

She'd trace his jawline and down his back and he'd shiver at the unnatural touch, but wouldn't fight it.

And he wondered if that was a mother.

Someone who was there at least some of the time.

Even if not there all the time, at least she wasn't missing from his life.

Ryan, his brother, had suggested several times she was poisoning his mind and they'd of been better off as orphans.

Hell, he killed himself in the name of saving himself from insanity.

Said he was going for a hiking trip, brought Trevor along, and told him all he ever wanted to really be was a bird so he could fly away. Trevor pulled his shirt back when Ryan jumped to try and save him, even though Ryan had told him not to. Ryan told him to tell their mother he fell off in an accident or he'd get double the beating. He told him to tell everyone it had been an accident or they'd think he'd been a pussy because no one could really understand what their mother was. That she was monster.

He never told anyone he'd watched his brother willingly jump from the side of a mountain and explode like a balloon full of blood as he stretched his arms out and yelled, "I'm flying...Do you see me, Trevor? Everything's gonna be o-"

Was a mother someone who cried when she found out her eldest boy died? Or was a mother someone who beat their youngest and accused them of murdering the elder?

Either way they showed their grief.

Right?

She didn't speak to him for a year.

But just before he fell onto the floor, he wondered.

Who could judge a mother?

"I called you in here to...discuss something serious." Lester begun, "Trevor, I haven't been exactly honest with you. So I've got Michael and Franklin here to guarantee my safety."

Trevor could feel the heat rush to his face, "What'd you do, Mo? The _fuck _did you lie to me about?"

"I'm trying to do you a favor here. Waiting for a phone call by the police to identify the body would take forever."

"Body? Oh. They find the bodies of Wade's friends, huh? Ah, fuck those clown-worshipping nutjobs. They don't have shit to prove anything."

"No, no, no."

"Just listen for a sec, T." Michael suggested, folding his arms.

"Oh, and why the _fuck _am I not surprised _you _are in on all of this? Of course you would be! I tell you. One botched heist and your true colors show through, you chameleon motherfu-"

"I'm _not _in on it, you prick. He just told me this morning. If you'd shut your fucking yapper, he'd be able to-"

"Hey! Just let the man talk." Franklin broke the argument just as Trevor turned around to face Michael, ready to blow and start a rampage. "Fuck."

"I met your mother at a bar, on purpose, Trevor, and drugged her." Lester saved any sugar from his words and blatantly laid the facts out.

"You fucking _what_? You sick cripple! All of you are the same, kinky as fuck and ready to stick it in anything that moves!"

Michael already had his grip on of Trevor's arms and Franklin quickly took the other, "Calm the fuck down, Man."

"I swear to God, Lester. I don't give two _fucks _that you're a cripple. I'll beat the half of you that works and chop you into _fucking _pieces-"

"I placed a tracking chip on her in hopes of her leading us to the illegal manufacturing of pain medication. Would've been a great heist, really. Would've been genius. Instead...I found your mother's tracker wasn't...ehem. Moving."

Trevor calmed slightly at the explanation, relieved to find out no kinky sex went into his thought process or was revealed and Michael, carefully and hesitantly, released his grip on the man.

Trevor was still fuming, but had calmed considerably.

"...So? She stopped and took a break for a while."

"It hadn't moved in three days. The same exact coordinates, not just the relative location. police reports say they found an unidentified woman in the motel she was staying at. Her tracker never moved, and now her tracker is shown to be in a hospital."

"_And_?"

"Trev." Michael whispered, "She's...dead, Man. Dead."

Trevor briefly wondered, just for a second, before falling into a heap on the floor, what a mother was.


End file.
